Freaking Out In Florida

Went out to get the mail and my neighbor said to check behind the gutter downspouts--between the downspouts and the brick. He was holding a dead snake which his boys found there peaking out at them from behind their downspout, and making a few ill attempted strikes. I went back in the house knowing a snake or snakes were watching me. Now I am feeling snakes crawl up my leg every now and then as I write this.
Between snakes, the elections, and worrying if I will have Jury Duty on Monday-no wonder my neck and upper back are in a state of distress. I'm too old for this. I hope Tekoe hates snakes.

Dancing With The Stars

Sorry Cloris but it is time for you to go. She was cute the first couple shows, but she was getting a bit ridiculous, and I began to think she needed to be supervised at all times. I felt bad when Rocco and Tony were voted off and Cloris remained.
Don't misunderstand me, I like Cloris-I think she's a hoot. However, enough is enough.

Too Funny

I have received this through email several times. It is so funny and I want to share with you all.

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas . They hired him because he was so funny.....

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President.But seriously, what ever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a

Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment .

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD
PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate questionhere would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE ....7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

It's Your Stuff!

How many times have friends or even Oprah told us to un-clutter our lives? Why can’t they seem to let us have our stuff? Apparently our friends watch Oprah.

Here’s my theory. Oprah is stumping for some author’s book about un-cluttering your life. Someone on her show-I think it was her show, went so far as to say to get rid of your family photos because they are already in your mind-what the dag nabbit is she talking about?
Here’s my two cents on this matter. When one talks about clutter, I picture old newspapers, magazines, junk mail, etc. One could even say family photos if you have them scattered far and wide throughout your home. Organization is the key-organize all that you want to keep. Maybe you haven’t used it or looked at it in 10 years-who cares! It is your stuff. Frankly I love my stuff, and if I didn’t I wouldn’t have gotten it.
Take all your loose photos and put them in a box with the idea you will organize them later-for heavens sake-don’t throw them out.

Clutter can also take the form of hoarding. When you cross the line to hoarding you have bigger problems than my blog can deal with-see a psychiatrist.

Sometimes you have to un-clutter your life by letting go of negative, depressing people. You don’t have to be rude, just unavailable. The freedom you get from this is unbelievable. I would say that The Oprah Show is one of those things you might want to let go out of your life.

Antique Wicker Rocker

I have been expressing concern about my finances, so today I went out and bought an antique wicker rocker. Yes, I know this makes no sense, but I knew if I didn't get it I would regret it for the rest of my days. No-I don't get overly dramatic. It is very shabby chic, and I am debating if I should give it a spray over with white paint. What do you all think?
The day started going to church with a friend and wrapping boxes for Christmas gifts to be given to poor children. It was a lot of fun. My friend and I went to the dollar store to buy things to put in my 4 boxes. That was a good feeling-getting toys, colors, coloring books, toothpaste, soap, etc. Sad to think that it means so much to some kids and other kids have to have hundreds of dollars worth of hi-tech stuff to make them happy. Our church plans to have over 100 boxes to ship out.
After church we went to the Antique Store where I bought the chair. I was feeling kind of guilty for spending the money, but rationalized it out by thinking-when I am poor and have no house-I will have my rocker. Sounds good to me.