Freaking Out In Florida

Went out to get the mail and my neighbor said to check behind the gutter downspouts--between the downspouts and the brick. He was holding a dead snake which his boys found there peaking out at them from behind their downspout, and making a few ill attempted strikes. I went back in the house knowing a snake or snakes were watching me. Now I am feeling snakes crawl up my leg every now and then as I write this.
Between snakes, the elections, and worrying if I will have Jury Duty on Monday-no wonder my neck and upper back are in a state of distress. I'm too old for this. I hope Tekoe hates snakes.

Dancing With The Stars

Sorry Cloris but it is time for you to go. She was cute the first couple shows, but she was getting a bit ridiculous, and I began to think she needed to be supervised at all times. I felt bad when Rocco and Tony were voted off and Cloris remained.
Don't misunderstand me, I like Cloris-I think she's a hoot. However, enough is enough.

Too Funny

I have received this through email several times. It is so funny and I want to share with you all.

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas . They hired him because he was so funny.....

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President.But seriously, what ever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a

Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment .

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD
PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate questionhere would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE ....7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

It's Your Stuff!

How many times have friends or even Oprah told us to un-clutter our lives? Why can’t they seem to let us have our stuff? Apparently our friends watch Oprah.

Here’s my theory. Oprah is stumping for some author’s book about un-cluttering your life. Someone on her show-I think it was her show, went so far as to say to get rid of your family photos because they are already in your mind-what the dag nabbit is she talking about?
Here’s my two cents on this matter. When one talks about clutter, I picture old newspapers, magazines, junk mail, etc. One could even say family photos if you have them scattered far and wide throughout your home. Organization is the key-organize all that you want to keep. Maybe you haven’t used it or looked at it in 10 years-who cares! It is your stuff. Frankly I love my stuff, and if I didn’t I wouldn’t have gotten it.
Take all your loose photos and put them in a box with the idea you will organize them later-for heavens sake-don’t throw them out.

Clutter can also take the form of hoarding. When you cross the line to hoarding you have bigger problems than my blog can deal with-see a psychiatrist.

Sometimes you have to un-clutter your life by letting go of negative, depressing people. You don’t have to be rude, just unavailable. The freedom you get from this is unbelievable. I would say that The Oprah Show is one of those things you might want to let go out of your life.

Antique Wicker Rocker

I have been expressing concern about my finances, so today I went out and bought an antique wicker rocker. Yes, I know this makes no sense, but I knew if I didn't get it I would regret it for the rest of my days. No-I don't get overly dramatic. It is very shabby chic, and I am debating if I should give it a spray over with white paint. What do you all think?
The day started going to church with a friend and wrapping boxes for Christmas gifts to be given to poor children. It was a lot of fun. My friend and I went to the dollar store to buy things to put in my 4 boxes. That was a good feeling-getting toys, colors, coloring books, toothpaste, soap, etc. Sad to think that it means so much to some kids and other kids have to have hundreds of dollars worth of hi-tech stuff to make them happy. Our church plans to have over 100 boxes to ship out.
After church we went to the Antique Store where I bought the chair. I was feeling kind of guilty for spending the money, but rationalized it out by thinking-when I am poor and have no house-I will have my rocker. Sounds good to me.

Saving Money Is Always A Good Thing!

I just got done talking with AT&T. I got to wondering where I could cut back, (again, and more). There is a new bundle that gives me everything I have now plus higher internet speed, and I will be saving $30.00 a month-a very good thing. These things are not advertised so check their web site now and then.

The other thing I already did was to change my cell phone to pay as you go. Still use AT&T, but pay only $25.00 every three months. As you use it, it knocks off money not minutes, so if you get low before the three months just add another $25.00. If you use it for emergencies you should never have to do that unless of course you consider talking to your friends while waiting in the grocery line an emergency. Frankly-I hate that. What is so important that it can't wait till you get home?

Also check your cable our dish network. I was able to cut my dish bill in half. I lost Fox news but can get their views on their web site.

If anyone has other helpful hints please comment. We can use all the help we can get!

My Back Porch

My sweet Stephanie gave me their bakers rack. Since they will be moving and they have a new dining set she did not want to take it.
I am so proud of my hibiscus-aren't they pretty? I am getting into this gardening stuff, it's fun.

Dressing In Style

We’re 50+ and feel wise and wonderful until we go shopping for clothes. Then it’s a chore to find a blouse that doesn’t make you look pregnant, (been there, done that). Why yes indeed these blouses are so cute if you are a 20-year-old bean poll with no stomach.
.
Keeping up with trends can be difficult because many fashion magazines ignore women over a certain age.
They show trendy clothes for the mature woman, on models that are like early 20’s or less. Oh, and don’t forget the plus clothes on models that could give the 1960’s model Twiggy a run for her money. Even Twiggy isn’t twiggy anymore. She too is 50+!

I found these guidelines on the Internet:

Quick tips to keep current-Let the very young think (mistakenly) that dressing sexy means you have to bare every body part. Instead, you can show your sensuality with luxe fabrics (silk, leather, cashmere, fur) and rich colors (wine, chocolate, plum, champagne and midnight).

-Watch your handbag: it is usually a dead giveaway to your age. Have some fun with your handbag choice by trying lively colors (red, denim) and different shapes. The key here is to find a bag in a good proportion to your size. Shoulder bags that fit under the armpit (not too tiny or huge) are generally the most flattering.

-Know that today you don't have to trade style for comfort and ease. Shop for wearable, updated shoes. Wear stretch fabrics whenever possible.

-Use accessories to create maximum impact. Wear your accessories in new ways: wearing pearls as a belt or a dress clip on a beret.


1. Think young. Be unpredictable.
2. Effect a natural look in beauty.
3. Choose solids: camel, red, gray, khaki and especially black and white. In fact, when in doubt, go for black and white. You can't go wrong with this combo. Eternally elegant, modern chic.
4. Go for bold, classic patterns in black and white: houndstooth checks, stripes, argyles. They are very "snappy," as Bill Blass would say!
5. Choose classic shapes (they're "snappy," too!) Shirtdresses, trench coats, pea jackets, car coats, , jean jackets and jeans are eternally youthful in spirit.
6. Go for unfussy chic: minimalist, functional designs and details. (Hint: zippers are far more youthful than aging gold buttons).
7. Wear short skirts if you have good legs (but not too short -- they should fall around the knee).
8. Invest in several fitted black turtlenecks! They are indispensable, flatter everyone and they always look great for day or night.
9. And finally, follow the old adage: Aging is a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!

Getting Healthy

I'm back. I had a wonderful time with my daughter-in-law. We hit the GNC store for vitamins and I ended up with the vitamins, garlic pills for high blood pressure-(which I discovered I have), some organic whey protein, and some coconut oil. Steph is going Vegan as much as she possibly can. Since I do not want to deal with all the Vegan stuff-I am going vegetarian as much as I can. The past week has gone pretty good.-I am finding it is not all that difficult. I imagine the day will come when I would kill for a big juicy rib eye steak, but all I will have to do is think of how and what they do to the cattle on the kill floor. It is physically sickening.
I was able to trick Tekoe-or should I say trap her into getting in her little cat kennel for the trip home. She kept looking at me like she might rip my throat out while I sleep, but once she got into our house she was her happy little princess self.
My dear friend Barb is coming for the day this Tuesday--I can hardly wait to see her. Will keep you posted.

Gone For a Few Days.

Tekoe and I are hitting the open road, free, with the wind in our hair, and not a care in the world.
Actually I am stressing out big time about the economy, and the up coming election.
As far as the wind in our hair, Tekoe is a short hair kitty, and I had mine cut really short yesterday.
It’s the old lady Florida cut, nice and cool with no fuss or muss.
We are heading to Alabama to see Stephanie.
I noticed that no one is leaving a comment on any of my blogs here—come on now---let’s hear from you.
I’ll continue my blog when I return home. Take care you all!

Whatever Will We 50 and Over Ladies Do?

AP: As Economy Sags, So Do Breasts and Faces

RUSH: All is not lost, ladies and gentlemen, as the AP headline reads: "As Economy Sags, So Do Faces and Breasts," and we can't have that. So it's getting serious now. "The economy isn't the only thing that's sagging -- so are faces, breasts and bellies as would-be cosmetic surgery patients increasingly opt against costly nips and tucks because of tough financial times. Anecdotal reports and a recent unscientific survey from an industry trade group suggest many cosmetic surgeons have been seeing a drop-off in costly operations, some by as much as 30 percent or more. Diane Lawyer, a software company manager in Atlanta, said belt-tightening has made her put off getting her eyes done, a procedure that would cost a few thousand dollars. 'I just can't justify that right now,' she said. Lawyer, 55, has started shopping at a discount grocery, rarely drives to save on gas, and loaned money to help keep her sister out of foreclosure."

Two Great Sites to Visit

These are two of my favorite sites. There are nice items and they make great gifts. Thought you might want to save these and leisurely take a look. Let me know what you think.

www.maryphillipsdesigns.com

www.suzytoronto.com

The Day After

Oh my goodness-talk about old and feeble. (My Grandma use to say she was getting old and feeble-I love that saying). I am so sore today, I can hardly move. Sad to think a garage sale is getting to be too much. I managed to get up and go to church this morning. Church always uplifts and inspires me. I have great expectations brewing in my mind during the car drive home. By the time I change my clothes I am exhausted. Apparently not exhausted enough to stay off the computer.
It is a nice, not so beastly hot day, so I will work in my flower gardens. For how long is yet to be seen. You all have a nice afternoon.
Say-why don't you leave a comment on how your day is going or on anything really.

The Garage Sale is Over!

I closed up about noon. It is so hot - I thought I might perish. The old lady suntan is coming along nicely though. I got rid of a bunch of stuff-made $182.00. My neighbors have the cutest four boys and they were very helpful with setting up this morning, plus kept me company.
I must tell you a story--I have a huge dog kennel that my kids gave me for our dog. Since I had to put our dog down, I put $20.00 on the kennel-a fabulous price considering how expensive they are brand new. Some old codger asked if I would take $10.00 and I said no but would meet him half way and take $15.00-he wouldn't do it. I couldn't believe it. So --I still have it. Most everyone else bought stuff for what I priced it. I will call the Water Front Mission on Monday and have them take the rest of the stuff. I'm hoping the dog groomer down the street will buy the kennel.
I am going to rest my weary bones-I ache all over. Have a great rest of the weekend.

The Garage Sale

I've been getting ready for the big neighborhood garage sale tomorrow. Garage sales are a great way to get rid of things and make some extra money. Things don't sell? Call the Salvation Army, or donate to a homeless shelter. Voila-the stuff is gone.
I'll write more tomorrow evening and let you know how it went.

Over 50 - Mature Women Unite

This blog was started for several reasons.
1. Older women are tired of being treated as if their opinions are no longer valid.
2. Since we are older, have wrinkles, and sag a bit-we are no longer considered sexy.
3. Some younger people have no idea what we are capable of doing- they assume it is pretty much nothing.
We are mentally capable, we can do pretty much anything, and that includes in the bedroom.
So-all you over 50 mature women, and even not so mature ones--we would love to hear from you.
Fill us in on good or bad experiences you have had regarding your age. Just add it to the comment section so we can all see what you have to say. Thanks and we look forward to hearing from you.

Remember-We are wearing our big girl panties and can do anything!